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Recently, I feel that I am at the middle of an intersection, looking at the traffic light and wondering where to go.  Maybe it’s that time again.  It’s time for me to relocate.  Being in Taiwan for almost 6 years, I am really tired.  It’s not that I can’t adapt to the environment.  This is where I grew up, how couldn’t I adapt to it.  Talking to my friends, I come to a conclusion: I am experiencing fatigue.  All the small bits add up and making me stressed out.  Most of all, it’s the education system in Taiwan which I cant’s stand.  Looking at the students, especially those who behave as if they were ignorant, I couldn’t help but get angry with them.  I don’t know who is to blame.  It’s the government, the parents, the school, the teachers, or the society.    All the education ministry does is to reform.  But what is “reform” mean to them.  I didn’t study education, but this doesn’t seem right for education system. 

Parents only care about the school grades.  Do they even know what their children are doing in school?  Children take parents for granted.  Parents are not only their ATM, but also their drivers.   “Give me money.” or “Come to pick me up.” are the two most common things I heard.  Being a teacher, I can’t tolerant this kind of manner.  Why can’t the children understand how hard their parents have to work just to let them come to cram school?  Both sides don’t communicate with each other.  I guess this is the life pattern in Taiwan.  Knowing the problem and you can’t do anything about it makes me wonder about many things. 

Five years have passed since I started teaching English.  Now, I ask myself is this what you want to do for good?  The answer is “I don’t know.”.  I’ve been thinking about this for quite awhile.  Be honest, I won’t have another 5 or 10 years for me to try out.  I pray to God about my future and my doubt.  Tell me which way to take and where I should be.  “To be or not to be, that is the question.”  The quote from Shakespeare surrounds in my head.  To be a teacher or not?  If not, what should I be?  Give me more time to figure this out.  In the meantime, all I can do is playing my role as a teacher, and a good daughter until I figure out what to do. 

Whoever read this, thanks for your time.  I’m waiting for my confirmation.  Let me know if you are moved and have something to say.  I pray to God that I’ll have the answer by the end of this week.  I just have a feeling that I should write this out and someone there will help me.  Another week, and I’ll know.  

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